Some Nights

Artwork by Sebastian Eriksson

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It is just me tonight
Alone,
the future is gone
I made it go.
the pain of the past,
that never let my present change,
today I finally let it go
like a thorn pierced deep
I could feel it, and it hurt
its hurt for so long
somehow I had forgotten
it was not meant to be like this
what should have been
a healing balm
how did it become such a bane
what should have been my smile
how could it have become
this invisible, yet unbearable pain
but tonight is different
for today I changed my tomorrow.
I know it will never be the same again
for today I said a prayer
as I let go of the years of fear,
and cut deep into my flesh
it pained as I reached it
and slowly pulled it out
no emotion, no remorse,
just a little tear as I let it go.
It had been there for so long
yet it was so easy to let go
but something still hurt
I think it was a broken dream
I tried till I could
to keep my eyes shut
and let the dream go on
but the pain never did recede
and when I could take it no more
the eyes opened to the thorn
and at that moment I knew
the dream was forever gone
but tonight is different
tonight there won’t be any dreams
for tonight I know
it’s the darkness I must see through
and if I survive the ghosts of the night
I know tonight will be the night
that forever changed my tomorrows.
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Vidur
20th May,2013