Eyes in the Mirror


Picture Credits : Oil painting by Cath Driessen “The mirror of the eyes ” www.cathdriessen.nl

I can see
they are tired
and weary
from the travels
of a life
and maybe
even a past beyond
bruised to tears
that swell often
and as often
dry on their own
they don’t blink
like fireflies
any longer
lest a drop
of the precious ocean
fall out from them
they reflect
the world
but hold
their own depths
behind a smile
to those
who see
its like thunder
rain, and a rainbow
all out
at the same time.

I know
they seek a place
where they can shut
in peaceful calm
in the knowledge
of a secure embrace
arms that keep
the world at bay
where even the air
dare not disturb
the sleep
that is needed
to rejuvenate
I hear them
for they speak
seeking that
hallowed world
where a mother
hides her child
and the little one
just closes those eyes
and everything else
ceases to exist
they yearn
for that place
where you can
cocoon yourself
in an invincible sheath
of love
and trust
where all
past identities
no longer matter
and every breath
is a moment
of detached bliss.




The Year in a Mirror



Another one
on the calendar
that is ready
to be left behind
and as I look ahead
I see in the mirror
a reflection of
what the past year
meant in my life.

I saw the sea
after a gap in time
the dance of the waves
on the surface
seemed no different still
for it is beneath the visible
that life happens
and realities change
I learnt that
to see the sun rise
you had to be one
with the birds
that the early one
may, or may not
catch the worm
but its in that
inactive morning moment
when all awake is calm
that peace reigns
and souls are stirred

A walk in it I had done
many a times before
but this year taught me
how to dance in the rain
I managed to learn
the lyrics to songs
which I had hummed for ages
but had never found the time
to learn and sing aloud
as some songs I discovered
were best sung silent
for every ear hears
not necessarily
what your heart sings about

I managed to open
a chimney of sorts
to let those thoughts fly out
sometimes in untamed billows
of emotions and words
and often as harmless
wisps of smoke
sometimes held guilty
by my very own words
of making my little Delhi choke
while the real polluters
abashedly in disguise
continued to freely roam
Consequently I was taught
the power of silence
by a few dear friends
some even decided
to practice the same on me
hopefully in this year
with the ‘smoke less’
lessons learnt
I will stoke the fires less
and maybe in the next
my silence too
will be heard.

I spent more time
amongst nature
in its simplicity
and in its complexity
in its existence
and amongst it
discovering my own,
somewhere I let go
of the old me
specially the parts
which had become
redundant over time
and therein I learnt
that letting go
was a way of growth
of renewal
and of rejuvenation.
So often we imagine
carrying the weight
of so many others
on our shoulders
that our own identity
exists in that present no more
but in the end
it is each one’s own feet
which define their balance
and their character
when the earth actually
decides to quake.

And when you join
your palms together
to welcome that new year in
you may ask for the World
but irrespective
of how much you get
in the end
there is always
a limit to what
in those two hands
anyone can really hold
So before you look up
take another look
at what you have
there could already be a treasure
in what you hold.


Musings – ‘partings’

We part

in so many

different ways

from those

that are

a part of us.

And sometimes

its in the spaces


by some

of those partings,

that we find

the missing pieces

which somewhere

had gotten hidden,

but were always

a very defining

part of us.

©Vidur Sahdev 2015

The Moon

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I am there
look around
and you will see
I hide in
the golden day
for my need
in the chaos
is seldom felt
but when the
sky turns dark
and home is
what you seek
I fight the clouds
to shine
light up
every step
you take
send the breeze
to rustle
the leaves
and whisper
in your ears
that you are
not lost
I am with you
every step
of the way
I don’t hold
your hand
and sometimes
those impish clouds
do get
the better of me
but visible
or not
some where
with you
in the darkest night
I am always there.

Musings – ‘L o v e’

We really never yearn for love,
for each one has a different
definition for it,

If love was a rainbow,
at each point in our life,
we would define it
with a different colour,

It’d never be a constant,
unless you had
the vision to always
see it as a full rainbow,

What we really yearn for
in the repetitive cycle
of endless normal days is –
a little amount of
a little out of the way
importance…care…or maybe
just an acknowledgement,

And as frequently or rarely,
as that happens
a normal day ends up
being an extraordinary one,

And on that day, in that colour,
we experience the entire rainbow of love.

©Vidur Sahdev 2015


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You strike a match
and you get the flame
you blow me out
with your feeble breath
and you think
my existence you control
Put me on a candle
a celebration
of your day, your life
and then blow me out
again, and again
for I am just a light
at the end of a wick
You hold my flame
captive in a lantern
and believe
for some reason
that I’ll show
you your way
You light your lamp
in a sacred place
and in my light
you seek His grace
Your darkest nights
you keep me awake
for you trust me
to keep your demons away
you light me up
in the chill of the night
and warm your hands
in my embrace.
In your permissive existence
I light your world
and I warm your hearth
I am light
and I am your sight
but even then
I lie peacefully
content in that matchbox bed
a non-existent state
deep in slumber
till stirred alive
And when you do
stir that hornet’s nest
remember this
and if not
then at your own peril forget
that when you strike
and bring me to life
I am also the pyre
that can bare your soul
consume your masks
till you can hide no more
I am pure in my being
you think
you control me
and in my indulgence
I let you think so
but give me a reason
and you’ll face my ire
I am light
and I am life
I am peaceful
and I am contained
but stoke me
and I will destroy you
for when I do
come to my own
I am…


Musings – ‘flashbacks’

Sometimes you are given a compulsory ticket
to go back into another life, another time,

And you do, not because you want to,
but because the validity and credibility
of your present is dependent on it,

It is a difficult and exhausting trip
but at the end of that flashback
of a long train of memories,
you see how and why it was
destined to end.

With the vision that you carry now,
you realise that in that life,
you had died a long time before
you were even declared dead,

And sometimes, that
sets you free to live
your present life
without any hangovers of the past,
without any regrets,
and after a long time
it feels good…..
just good to feel alive.

©Vidur Sahdev 2015